Harmonizing Pets & Kids: Tips for Peaceful Coexistence

According to Katznelson of The New York Times, while pets often tolerate children's poking and roughhousing, these interactions can sometimes be quite stressful for them. Even if pets don't resort to hissing, scratching, or biting, the unnecessary attention and pressure can "diminish their quality of life" without them showing any overt signs of distress.

We reached out to pet behavior experts to learn how to safely introduce cats and dogs to your children and maintain a harmonious household.

1. Supervision is Key

In the presence of pets and children, supervision is paramount, especially in homes with infants and toddlers. Dog trainer and blogger Danielle Muhlenberg advises pet owners to closely monitor all interactions between pets and children in realtime. This not only helps prevent conflicts but also allows for quicker and more effective correction of bad behavior. Clearly, keeping children and pets within arm's reach at all times is not feasible. If you anticipate potential conflicts that cannot be avoided, consider using baby gates to create barriers between your pet and child.

2. Lead by Example

One of the simplest ways to teach your child how to interact with pets is to set a good example and involve them in pet care tasks suitable for their age. Muhlenberg suggests that dog owners can take their children on walks and invite them to participate in "training, grooming, and feeding." These experiences will teach them to respect pets and build trust and love with them.

Parents should also educate their children on proper pet etiquette. Feline behaviorist Shadi Delshad emphasizes that cat owners should never physically punish their pets. Dog owners should follow the same advice. Physical punishment is not only inhumane but also sets a poor example. Your child might repeat such behavior and provoke a cat or dog into retaliation. To address this, Delshad advises that parents firmly say "no" to their children's bad behavior.

3. Set and Respect Boundaries

Successful pet parents rely on both literal and metaphorical boundaries. Literally, allowing dogs and cats their own space at home is crucial. For cats that can easily find secluded private spaces, this is usually straightforward. For dogs, which cannot easily climb under furniture or into cabinets, their private space might be a special crate or bed. Breeder and professional trainer Lindsey Johns stresses the importance of respecting a pet's privacy. Dogs may protect their space and resist a child's intrusion into their private area. For parents of young children, consider setting up private spaces for their dogs in rooms that the children cannot access.

When a new pet joins the family, children are often excited, and that's understandable. However, certain types of play are unacceptable. Lindsey Johns points out that sitting on a dog or climbing on a dog is very inappropriate. Many dogs view this as a "dominance signal" and may become frustrated or aggressive.

Muhlenberg says that parents should encourage their children to help reinforce boundary awareness. For instance, if a dog is not allowed on the sofa, you can encourage the child to remind the dog with commands. This not only teaches the children to respect the dog but also helps establish their authority.

4. Recognize Warning Signs

Pet cats and dogs almost never attack without warning. They usually use body language and behavior to indicate that their tolerance has reached its limit. It is crucial for owners to learn to recognize these signals and the behaviors that trigger them. Stephanie Mantilla, a positive reinforcement trainer, encourages pet owners to quickly search the internet for specific breed behavior cues. She notes that aggressive dogs often exhibit "excessive yawning or licking." Certain eye movements can also be warning signs. She advises cat owners to be aware of "hissing" and "tail swishing" signals that may precede biting or scratching.

5. Patience and Perseverance

Behavioral experts emphasize two key words: patience and perseverance. Teaching your pet and child to coexist is a learning process that requires trial and error. Over time, your pet and child will not only learn to live together but also to love each other.